The Phony Phone Call Education
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: "And that, girls, is how you make a phony phone call."  The conversation leading up to Sheldon admitting that "I'm a total buttwad." Penny/Bernadette/Amy


**I have been thinking a lot about Penny/Amy friendship recently (seriously, my new favorite friendship on the show!) and also thinking about how much I love, as Leonard calls them, "the girls." Penny/Amy/Bernadette is such a great dynamic – each of them is a little bit of the other three, they are varying levels of book and street smarts, and of course I love that we have lovable friends of Penny's now that are not the four guys (even though of course I adore them too!)**

**This is a hidden scene from The 21 Second Excitation. Spoiler Alert!**

**DISCLAIMER: Everything belongs to CBS. Not me.**

"Okay, Amy," Penny said, dabbing at the scientist's right thumb. "It's all off."

Amy looked down. "I see some residual red in the corner of my left pointer finger."

"Oh." Penny glanced at Bernadette, who shrugged. "Let me work on that some more."

"Please do," Amy said, nodding as Penny dipped the Q – tip in the nail polish remover and started to scrub the edges of Amy's nail.

"So Amy," Bernadette said, smiling. "What's next on your slumber party list?"

"You have a slumber party _list_?" Penny asked, looking up from Amy's hand.

"Yes," Amy said. "I showed it to Bernadette while you were out of the room getting the nail polish. Straight from Wikipedia."

Penny squinted at the phone screen. "Okay, I'm confused."

Amy looked at Bernadette. "Was this list over your head when I showed it to you?"

"Nope," Bernadette said, a grin coming over her face, "but then again, I am a scientist, just like you."

Penny narrowed her eyes at Bernadette, who just smirked. "No," Penny said, "I mean why would a scientist like you rely on a site like Wikipedia for your information?"

"I assume that the type of people who have perfected the art of Slumber Partying are also the type of people who would access slash contribute to Wikipedia," Amy said.

"Oh." Penny thought for a moment. "Yeah, that makes sense. I guess. So what is next on that little list?"

Amy scrolled down. "Prank phone calls."

"Ooh!" Penny said, grinning. Bernadette and Amy looked at her in confusion. "Sorry, that was always my favorite part of a slumber party."

"Let me try," Amy said, "as soon as I read the rules."

"There…aren't really rules to a phony phone call," Bernadette said. "You just call someone."

"Okay." Amy thought for a moment, and then punched a few numbers into her phone. She put it to her ear and was silent for a few moments. Then, "hello, I am Amy Farrah Fowler, and I…"

"No no no no no!" Penny said, covering her face with her hands.

Amy looked at Penny, confused. "I'll call you back. Good – bye." She hung up. "What is the problem?"

"You don't…_tell_ the person you're calling who you are," Penny said. "That defeats the purpose."

"I'm not sure I understand," Amy said.

"If you tell them who you are, you can't pretend to be someone else," Bernadette said, pulling out her phone. "Like this." She dialed a number and waited. "Hello, I'm calling from the John F. Kennedy International airport. We've found a piece of luggage in your name, and have discovered that you don't have a permit to carry…what? Hello?" She pulled the phone from her ear and looked at it in confusion. "What was that all about?"

"Who were you calling?" Penny asked.

"Howard's cousin."

Amy looked at Penny. "If she does it so much better than me, then why, in her case, did she get hung up on, whereas in mine, I was the one to terminate the call?"

"She … you … have either of you actually done a prank phone call?" Penny asked.

"No," Amy said.

"Never successfully," Bernadette said.

"Let me try," Penny said, reaching for where her cell phone rested on the coffee table.

"What makes you think you can accomplish it?" Amy asked.

"I'm not a scientist," Penny replied.

"Oh." Amy turned to Bernadette, who was mimicking the expression Penny had shot her way minutes earlier. "She thinks we're too evolved," Amy said, nodding like she understood and was flattered.

Bernadette, who had understood that Penny was mocking them, just looked at Amy with a raised eyebrow. "Yes, Amy," she said sarcastically. "That's what she meant."

"Oh, good!" Amy said, grinning, happy to have 'figured it out'.

"Here we go," Penny said. "Remember to hit star sixty seven before making the call, so they can't trace it back to you."

"They can if they have the necessary technology," Amy said. Penny stared at her, and the scientist backed down. "Okay, star sixty seven."

"Now," Penny said, grinning. "Just watch and learn." She leaned back, held in the number six, and then put the phone to her ear. After a few moments of silence, she began to speak. "Hello, Dr. Cooper? Hi, I'm with your cell phone company, and after reports of static on several of the phone models, we're running a test on your cell phone's quality." She pressed speaker, putting a finger to her lips to signal Amy and Bernadette to remain quiet. She kept the phone near her ear as Sheldon agreed to the test. "We have a few test phrases for you."

"Test phrases?" Sheldon's voice came over the speaker. "All right."

"Repeat after me. Imatote."

"Imatote."

"Ulba."

"Ulba."

"Twad," Penny finished. Bernadette got it and smirked.

"Twad," Sheldon repeated.

"Okay, now all together."

"All together? I'm a total buttwad."

Penny and Bernadette burst into laughter. Amy didn't look amused.

Sheldon's voice changed to confusion. "Why are you laughing?"

Penny hung up. "And _that, _girls, is how you make a phony phone call."


End file.
